Matariki, Ageing Parents, and the Weight of Elder Care

Separation later in life rarely happens in isolation. Often there are ageing parents in the picture too, and decisions about their care can become tangled up with the separation itself, particularly around finances, housing, and who takes on the caregiving role going forward.

Matariki includes a specific focus on Waitī and Waitā, the stars associated with fresh water and the ocean, connected to sustenance and provision for the whānau. It is a fitting moment to reflect on the broader family unit, not just the couple who is separating, and to think honestly about the needs of the older generation within it.

These conversations are rarely simple. A parent who once relied on both members of a couple for support may now need a completely different arrangement, and working that out while also managing a separation adds real pressure. Matariki's emphasis on gathering and collective reflection can be a useful prompt to bring the wider family together and have that conversation openly, rather than letting it sit unresolved in the background of the separation.

If elder care is one of the threads you are trying to untangle alongside your own separation, this is exactly the kind of practical and emotional complexity I help clients work through.

Reach out and we can map a path forward together.