There are two simple rules: You get better at what you practice. Everything is practice. Look around and you may be surprised by what people are “practicing" each day. If you consider each moment a repetition, what are most people training for all day long? Many people are practicing getting mad on social media. Others are practicing the fine art of noticing how they have been wronged. Still more have mastered the craft of making plans (but never following through). You might

Separation can already be a difficult, emotional time, but what if one partner dies while you’re in the middle of it? It’s a scenario that can raise more questions than answers, and understandably, there’s a lot of confusion about what happens legally, financially, and emotionally in this situation. It's one of the things that I remind my divorce and separation clients to think about during the process. Sometimes in police we would be handing death benefit checks for police s

Divorce coaches are becoming more prevalent in New Zealand, offering practical support on co-parenting, financial matters before the lawyers get involved. I asked New Zealand's first certified divorce coach Kimberlee Sweeney who has been practising for eleven years (and recently qualified as a mediator), and she says they can help with communication, coaching and conflict management that can ease an often painful process. Kimberlee says "I can work alongside the lawyers, and

The Importance of Compromise If you find your partner is opposite to you, remember that compromise is essential for all relationships, especially those involving both an introvert and an extrovert. When partners know each other well, they sometimes make assumptions with a little too much confidence. This can lead to misunderstandings. You might assume malicious intentions, think you know what will help your partner feel better, or decide how to spend your time together withou

Thinking about separation, ending your relationship , or going ahead with a a divorce? Feeling lost and unsure of where to start, contemplating reaching out to the "top" family attorney available? Stop. Prioritize yourself by taking one simple step. Pause. Lawyers specialise in law, not in supporting you to make empowered decisions regarding your future, navigating you through the mental, emotional, and social impacts of difficult times, managing your nervous system, or aidin

It can be very hard to get back into the dating world after a breakup or divorce. It can be daunting and scary, and some people give up after only a few tries because they feel overwhelmed. There are some things to consider when you’re getting back into the dating world or even considering dating. First thing is to make sure that your friends and work colleagues know that you are ready to start dating again, since it always helps to have friends on your side. Have a think ab

In today’s dynamic and interconnected workplaces conflicts are inevitable. Whether arising from cultural differences, communication barriers, or differing priorities, these conflicts can disrupt productivity, erode trust, and strain relationships. However, amidst these challenges, mediation emerges as a powerful approach that not only resolves disputes but also fosters collaboration and strengthens teams. Collective Approach Unlike traditional conflict resolution methods that

In a world where stress and isolation can often dominate our daily lives, the simple act of hugging emerges as a powerful antidote. Not only do hugs provide comfort and warmth, but they also trigger the release of oxytocin, often dubbed the "love hormone." Let’s explore the benefits of hugs and the science behind oxytocin, and how together they can enhance our well-being. The Benefits of Hugs Emotional Connection: Hugs foster a sense of connection and belonging. They convey s

Understanding the Purpose of an Apology The purpose of an apology is not to justify yourself. It is not what you want to say. It is about what the listener needs to hear. In today's world, a purposeful apology often feels like an act of performance. It occurs when the perceived victim or an oppressed group demands some form of remorse from a more powerful party. This type of apology helps balance the needs of everyone involved. The Five Steps to an Effective Apology There are

Moving an elderly parent into a new living environment care while they have a wish to remain in their home is one of the most painful challenges of this life phase. The logic to avoid the risk of significant injury and unnecessary suffering decision may seem simple, along with the challenges of maintenance and self care, but it does not negate the distress of those making the judgment. Especially so if the home being left has significance for all involved. This represents one

Separation later in life rarely happens in isolation. Often there are ageing parents in the picture too, and decisions about their care can become tangled up with the separation itself, particularly around finances, housing, and who takes on the caregiving role going forward. Matariki includes a specific focus on Waitī and Waitā, the stars associated with fresh water and the ocean, connected to sustenance and provision for the whānau. It is a fitting moment to reflect on the

For separated parents, Matariki can be a genuinely useful anchor point in the year. Unlike Christmas or birthdays, it carries less emotional baggage from the relationship itself, which makes it a good opportunity to establish new family traditions that belong to this next chapter rather than the last one. Matariki is inherently about gathering, sharing kai, and looking toward the future together, values that translate naturally into coparenting. Some families use this time of

One of the most moving aspects of Matariki is Hiwaiterangi, the tradition of remembering those who have passed in the year gone by. It is a moment of genuine grief held within a wider celebration of renewal, and that combination, sorrow and hope sitting side by side, mirrors the experience of separation more closely than people often expect. Divorce involves real loss. The loss of a shared future, of daily companionship, sometimes of friendships or in laws you had grown close

Grey divorce, separation later in life after decades together, often comes with a particular kind of disorientation. There is no roadmap for starting again after twenty, thirty, or forty years alongside the same person, and the practical questions around superannuation, property, and shared history can feel overwhelming. Matariki offers a useful frame for this stage of life. Traditionally, it is a time to reflect on the past year honestly, including its hardships, and to set

Matariki is a time when the whole country pauses to look up. The rising of the star cluster marks the Māori New Year, and with it comes an invitation to reflect on the year that has passed, to remember those we have lost, and to look ahead with hope for what is still to come. For anyone going through separation or divorce, that rhythm of looking back before moving forward can feel remarkably familiar. Ending a relationship rarely happens in a single moment. It is more often a

Facing a separation can feel overwhelming. You might be wondering how to navigate the emotional and practical challenges ahead. A separation coach can be a valuable guide during this time, helping you make clear decisions and regain control. But what about the cost? Understanding fees in New Zealand is essential to plan your next steps wisely. What Does a Separation Coach Do and Why Their Fees Matter A separation coach supports you through the complex process of ending a rela

Separation is one of life’s most challenging transitions. It can feel overwhelming, confusing, and isolating. You might be facing emotional turmoil, financial uncertainty, and complex decisions about your future. But you don’t have to go through this alone. Divorce coaching offers a steady hand to guide you through the storm. It helps you move from crisis to clarity, empowering you to make thoughtful choices and build a sustainable path forward. Whether you are just beginning

When you face difficult decisions about elder care, emotions can run high. You want the best for your loved one, but disagreements may arise about what that looks like. This is where elder care mediation steps in as a gentle, effective way to find common ground. In New Zealand, elder care mediation offers a path to understanding and agreement without the stress of court battles or strained family ties. You might be wondering how mediation works, why it’s valuable, and what to

If you are going through a separation or divorce, you might find yourself forgetting things you usually remember. You may struggle to make even simple decisions or lie awake at 3 AM replaying the same conversations on loop. You are not going mad. Your brain is doing exactly what it is designed to do under prolonged stress. Unfortunately, it is not very helpful right now. Understanding what is happening inside your head can be one of the most powerful first steps toward findin

When you face the challenge of caring for an elderly loved one, emotions can run high. Decisions about health, living arrangements, and finances often bring tension and uncertainty. This is where elder mediation steps in as a powerful tool to help you navigate these difficult conversations with clarity and compassion. Family mediation services offer a structured, supportive environment where everyone’s voice is heard, and solutions are crafted together. Elder mediation is not