The Negotiation Before the Negotiation

Throughout my years as a crisis negotiator, I knew that I was often dealing with that most precious thing — a human life.

Over time I realised that the negotiation starts long before I picked up the phone or got out of my vehicle at the scene. By the time the person in crisis was talking to me, our conversation had already been shaped by a variety of decisions - both good and bad.

That's why, to achieve a successful outcome, I had to remind myself that sometimes it's not just the 'deal' that needs to be negotiated - it's the very circumstances of the negotiation itself.

So when you are facing your next negotiation, consider taking steps to shape it to your advantage before the other side even knows you have started.

Adjust the scope: Are you focused on the right elements? Just like I could get focused on a narrow part of what the subject was telling me, you may need to take a step back and broaden the scope of the conversation in order to optimise value. Or the opposite could be true - if your scope is too wide, you may be missing essential elements of the deal. That's one of the reasons we always negotiated as part of a team - there was always someone thinking about the bigger picture, or reminding me to focus on the details.

Develop empathy: You may think you are in opposition, but you will typically have more success if you build a positive relationship with your 'adversary'. The key to accomplishing this was to develop - and demonstrate - empathy for that person in order to better understand their perspective and motivations. Armed with a deeper understanding of the other party, you may find ways to create greater value - working together to achieve an outcome instead of fighting.

Change the conditions and negotiate the process: Whether it's the location of the conversation or the rules that are brought to the table, negotiation conditions matter enormously. I was reminded of this during one of my most memorable negotiations, when I made the decision to put the phone down and personally deliver cigarettes to a male hostage taker. It broke the rules - but it changed the dynamic entirely and ultimately achieved the outcome.

Shaping these circumstances to your advantage can set you up for success before the official discussion even begins.